the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
there is glitter all over my balls
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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