I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
