It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
