i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
