this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
