You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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