i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
