I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
