Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
