I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
