Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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