lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
