I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
