i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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