whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
