I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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