I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
