at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
