apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
