I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize