I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
