Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize