i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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