he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
