i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Success! We fucked roommates!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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