WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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