I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
