So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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