it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
