Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
