i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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