I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
