Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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