Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
