Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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