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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
