i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
