OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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