They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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