I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
