I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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