Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
