I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
