I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
