Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
