I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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