I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize