on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
