Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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