He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
