I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize