Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize