so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
