I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
