Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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