I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
