So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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