I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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