you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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