Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
