Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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