Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
